absurd

LOVE IS…

Love is whatever thing you do you gonna ignore yourself for them. Love not only mean sacrifice, but love similar with that. I don’t want to describe more about love, because I don’t know it well. Btw, I feel it better. Love always make us feel confuse to stay, either to go away. Why do you so serious? Because you expect an seriousness in your love? Baby, you can’t plan it, it will come when the love think that your love is fair to have it.

Hi Cupid.

Someone doesn’t know about Cupid, then I have to explain who is Cupid. Cupid is an angel? Or Satan? Haha… Cupid have the round up in their head which is make them called angel of love. They bring the love arrow and responsible to shot it into someone others. Emm… it is seem complicated ya. Let me give the real example. There are Ania and Anio. Cupid shot his arrow to Anio. Then Ania will be love Anio. Aaaa… skip about Cupid. It isn’t necessary to know the rules of Cupid arrows, because we just have to realize that CUPID ALWAYS SHOOT THE WRONG PERSON. So? Use your brain. Not your feelings fully because Cupid are the most stupid angel, ever. Serious.

CORRELATION BETWEEN LOVE AND LIFE.

Is it correlated? Of course. The way it correlated? Don’t know.

Shut up.

Hahaha… I have to stop talking about this bullshit. Love life love life love life, OK. Osama Bin Laden just arise and explode my head please. Use the best bomb which is can explode me but I don’t feel hurt ya. This clue always make me …. Absurd.

My man, I love you. Yea, I still loving you although you don’t marry me soon, you don’t promise want to make me laugh, smile, and another bullshit which always said in the proposal process. Yea, I don’t get it dude, is it a mistake? He always said to me about responsibility to be a wife to be a mom. Yea, it seems just demanding something without giving. Chelsea and Glenn said that true love isn’t about take and give, but about give, give, give, and give. Happy thanks giving!!! Its love seems to be LSM. The best part is… thanks for remembering my favorite food. I love the steamed bread. Thanks for make the new favorite food baby. I don’t know why do you think to steam bread with butter and chocolate? Hahaha… I was thinking that you are out of starving when I’m sleeping. But see? I love it too, at least. Then I tell you honey I don’t like chocolate. The next you make it without chocolate, just butter. Thanks for remembering my fave. I also love your cuttie way to express something when we are on grocery, buy a big sausage, buy snacks, and others things to make us happy. But when… you said, that I’m a kid and how can I handle your kid when I still to be kid? My heart ruined down. Do you know how it feels? I’ve learned hard. You just … make it to be nothing. Thanks !!!!

The another one, looks like an angelic future husband. Hi Kaka who always make me laugh and fill my day with happiness. I miss you so badly without can do anything. But, I really missing you no matter what. Hem… he fills my head with any dreams… the best plan of life ever. It turn to be heroin and I will be always want to have you. But, you know the rule and consequences of having Heroin? Deal with it ?

Yea. I can’t describe moreover. GOD, pardon me. Pardon my way to don’t care with everything and just do everythings make me happy. Pardon me.

Elegi

ku tulis kata elegi tanpa mengetahui makna daripadanya.

Mengapa karena memang tak semua hal harus diketahui maknanya

dalam sebuah diam, terkadang menyimpan amarah yang membara, atau tangis yang gaduh, juta tawa yang tak tertara.

namun diam membungkus kita dalam ketidaktahuan, menjebak dalam sebuah pengandaian.

hingga rindu saja tak mampu dinyatakan sebagai rindu.

begitulah elegi kehidupan.

kau telah berhasil melawannya,

maka aku hanya bisa berkata, teruslah melawannya.

Semoga kau berakhir sampai akhir.

K E S E R A K A H A N K U

aku tahu tak sedikitpun ini menjadi suatu hal yang tak adil bagimu dan baginya.

ketika aku dan segala sikap kemanusiawianku meliar dan menyerakahi kalian berdua.

alasan sepi seringkali menjadi alasan utama yang ku agungkan di dalam istanaku sendiri.

kesedihan ku ratapi bak ia adalah pelindung dari segala dingin dan panas yang menyengat setiap hari.

singa yang haus darah karena sang induk tak pernah mencarikan darah untuknya,

kini ganas meliar menghisap darah dan memangsanya.

tanpa pernah merasa bahwa ia sudah merasakan darah.

begitulah. keserakahan.

ia sulit untuk disadari.

sekalipun tersangka sudah menjadi terdakwa.

ia tetap memiliki hak untuk bicara bukan? sepatutnya kalian berhak percaya atau sebaliknya.

maka aku ingin sedikit bercerita, bagimu simaklah jika kau ingin. jika tidak, maka tak apa. aku hanya ingin bercerita saja.

tak ubahnya mimpi yang dirajut utuh untuk satu, tak ada satupun orang yang mengharap percabangan dalam peraudan termasuk aku. akupun dilanda kebimbangan tiada tara untuk memutuskan karena terlalu tipis jarak kebahagiaan dan kesedihan. kebencian dan kecintaan. ketulusan dan nafsu. tetapi jauh di dalam lubuh hatiku terdalam, tak pernah aku bermaksud menyakiti salah satu atau merobeknya sekalipun. setiap detik aku selalu memikirkan bagaimana jalan terbaiknya untuk menyudahinya. adapun segala hal keikhlasan maha hebat tak akan ada yang kekal. suatu saat nanti pasti ada yang akan lelah dan undur diri.

setidaknya hal itu terjadi kini.

menyudahi semuanya, keserakahanku. untuk berbahagia.

biarkan aku berenang ke tepian, menepi dari segala keserakahan yang menginferi pribadi.

LATEPOST STORY ABOUT MY MAN, CRICKET, AND GRASSHOPPER CORRELATED WITH MY BUSINESS

I very very bumpy hate you.

You are totally resentful with you.

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This story may be out of date because it happened last week. But, I just want to tell the world that I have bumpy resentful husband no matter what. Aaarrwww !!! but be careful! He is so adorable. Yea. Suck. Really suck.

Oke, lets begin.

The story started because all my jobs task met their deadline that week. The jobs were so much and I have to fixed all this mess on weekend. Oh dear weekend, pardon me for heed you. It wasn’t my desires. Trust me, the condition urged me to do all this just on 2 days. Hahaha… the morning came then he was left me for jobs affairs too. Yea, I thought we were diligent employees who were kept working in weekend. The company should be proud having us -_- after took a breakfast, he just gone. Oke, time to war!! Took a bath, turned on the ac, and started to unloaded all armaments. I would started this war!! Yea, turned on the laptop, started buried by thousand papers. The room was similar with the shipwreck, really. I was very dizzy to looked at but I didn’t have any choice except just kept war on. The times passed so quickly because I was very busy with it. It was so fun when I didn’t realized that he left. Because, usually I almost dead because bored waiting him. And of course, will send him thousand message on the same subject.

“Why are you so long? When are you go home? What are you doing?” yea. I was really a woman.

Then as always, in usual, he would replied 5 minutes later, “

Just be patient.”

Then, I kept to couldn’t wait and urged him to back home.

Hehe… but something different happened that day. I started that war on 10 a.m when he left home. In usual condition, I would started disturb him 30 minutes after he was left. But that day, till 12 a.m. I still focus on my job and didn’t think about him. Then I realized that I have to ask, because women outside were so wild sometimes. Yea. I have to still worry no matter what even it was different with usual. So, I texted him.

“Hubby, where are you?”

Just a second I got a reply.

“Yea Dear… wait a while.”

I was usual to receive that, so I didn’t reply anymore and continued my jobs.

But he texted me more.

“I will be done honey, 15 minutes later I arrive at home. Wait a while dear …”

So, the lil sly smirk appears… I knew he was waiting my text (maybe), because he replied it as will I was worried at home and deserved him went home soon. I kept continue my works. Shortly after, my phone was ringing… yea of course, he was called.

“Hello, what’s up?” I hanged the phone.

“Hello dear, time to lunch, any idea ?” He replied.

I was not in mood for take a lunch because my works still unfixed.

“Emmm… just take your launch dear. I don’t mind for launch because my works really down my mood.”

“Hem.. how about take some snack? Batagor?” He offered.

He was really mine. Because he knew that I never have ability to denied that one. I love to ate batagor, fried siomay, cireng, roasted meatballs, and any same kind. I smiled then pursed my mouth.

“Oke dear, you know that I can’t say no.”

“Wait me on 15 minutes baby.” He answered again.

“Yea, just go home faster… really miss you. Love you dear. Don’t be naughty don’t be flirtatious with thousand bitches outside!” hahah. I said this because in usual I said this even that moment I was very out of usual. He have to heard that because I still love him no matter what.

“Hahaha.. I’m yours. You’re the one and only. Goodbye see you home.”

I hanged off the phone.

Continued my works.

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Then 15 minutes later, I heard his car sound came. He really came back on time. When he entered my room, he was surprised because the room really turned to be shipwreck #LOL.

“What are you doing ? on shipwreck.”

Hahaha…

“Shut up… I’m busy.”

Then I got up because I really wanted Batagor. We ate batagor together, after cleaned all. I continued my works. I knew he would felt being ignored. But, I really have to done this shit fast before I really vomited.

“I will take a nap.” Said him.

“Yea, just take a nap.” I replied.

But… he pulled me on, hugged me. Of course I couldn’’t moved. This man turned to be a kid ya, very spoiled. Oke, I have to put him to sleep. Brought the love lullaby. I shut up and started rubbing his face smoothly till he fell asleep. Then, slowly I moved his hand and could let go of his arms.

Yea, of course I continued my works beside him. Occasionally saw him asleep, occasionally he wanted to pull me to stop working, but my hand rubbed his forehead to calm his sleep. I love you honey.

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4 p.m. and still working.

He wake up. Hugged me. And asked why I still awake and worked. I didn’t reply because I knew, he was knew the answer.

“Just take a bath and don’t bother me… I have to finish it now.”

Then he went out and I didn’t know exactly what he did outside. Then he came entering the room, he hide his hand behind his body like someone who will gave bouquet surprise. He smiled a smile to the face like a spoiled child. I began to suspect what he was carrying. But, I continued my job. Then he held out his hand to me and opened his hand in front of my face. You know what he brought ??????

CRICKET! DAMN BABY!!

I was very scared and immediately moved away to a corner of the room.

“Hey bunny what are you doing?” I was screamed. “

Hahaha… are you afraid with cricket?” He laughed.

“Stop it isn’t funny and not a kind of joke. Move it away now !!!”

so he put the cricket on his hand and got out. Oh my God that man. Ckck. I continued my works. Occasionally he came again, and I stopped my job, saw at them like said “What is the mess you bring, hah?” and he was enjoyed teased me. Several times later he pretended bringing something but nothing. Till I was really felt safe, I started to ignored him and continued. He came back again, I was quite and don’t notice him.

Then something jumped, jumped, then fly, jumped again. It is green and… 

OMG GRASSHOPPER!!!! IN MY ROOM!!! IN BED!!!

I very hate you husband… so hate you. Then I got angry.

“TAKE IT OUT KNOW. WHY DO YOU SO HAPPY TEASE ME? YOU DON’T WANT TO HANG OUT????? IF YOU DON’T, KEEP DISTURB ME SO MY WORKS WON’T DONE AND WE DON’T HANG OUT.”

I was very angry and upset. Moreover I was tired. So he put it quickly and brought it out. I sighed. Oh my God. I want to continued. But… I think that I was so evil to ignore him… moreover, I can’t. then I left my unfinished works. Take a bath. Oke lets hang out hunny.

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That’s simply story about love. Yea. When you love, no matter what, you will always care others. as him, he just courage to make me notice with him. hemm… ignore him a full day isn’t good idea because he is too lovely :p

SATURDAY STORY ABOUT BROTHER AND HIS LIL SISTER

Happy Saturday all, I hope we are blessed now and tomorrow, then forever ya. I have many stories to tell today. Yea, since I’m to be a employee I think I still difficult to manage my time. Sometimes, I think that all my times are full for company. But I see nothing. Yea. Got tired. But don’t see the result of it yet. Hehe. Skip about that. This noon, I see an melancholic tragedy in the main road near my boarding house.

Although this morning, Pekalongan has rainy but in the noon sun turns so hot burn us. I was bought some brunch till I have to cross the main road because my boarding house on crossed area. Then I see 2 kids near with me. A boy and a girl. I guess a boy is 4 years old and his sister is 3 years old. I see they are alone without their parents. The girl was rode her little bicycle then stop in the side of main road. Btw.. that main road usually full with big truck, container truck, buses, and… they all always on high speed. I don’t mind that they will cross the road too. When I’ve crossed on. I see the girl take off her bicycle and run cross the road. I’m very scared for seeing that. Then, her brother screamed like … asking his sister to wait. But the sister kept run. Then once again I was surprised. Without think longer, the boy lifted his sister’s bicycle and cross the road too. If you know… that his size almost same with the bicycle size. He cross the road slowly and look like it was very heavy for him. Of course!! Then the big truck coming. My heart beat faster. Boy, run run run… just it on my brain. And I think it is very stupid because I do nothing. Pardon my slow response. I can move or anything when I’m panic. Almighty Allah SWT. That boy was safe till reaching his lil sister on road side, of course with brought a bicycle.

I have a lil sister too. But I never take care with her because our age distance are long enough. Then, I often think that we have our own world. And it is different.

I’m on boarding house now, and I was think what a happy girl she is, having kind brother which is always take care of her no matter what. He doesn’t put longer thinking to reach his lil sister. Even it so so so danger or him. I’m proud with him. So proud.

I hope later, I have the kind boys like that. Who always take care his lil sister. In my life plan, without uping the destiny, I will have 2 boys as my son anyway. I’m very happy to have them even I never give birth them. I don’t think to compete with others, but I just pull myself to trust that I can do that, I can to be kind mom for them. I can love them whole-heartedly like they are my son in blood. Because to be a parents isn’t always talk about blood. I was thinking that.. when we can love them, care them, fill them with love. We are parent for them. So I will forget that I just mother in law? Or second mother? No no, I’m fully a mother for them. No matter what.

Then, I dreamed to have a daughter. I’m worrying about… I’m afraid about…. I’m very afraid that my sons don’t care his lil sister 🙂 nowday, I realize something. Kids are different with us. They will love everything which is love them. What’s the reason I have to worry? My sons will love my future daughter because I’ll plant it on their heart. Love their lil sister… yea, I will really plant and keep it on their heart, full with love, and sincerity. They are different with us. They are kids, Mel.

They will love others… they will. my sons… my future daughter, we will be a happiest family ever.

Love you all my angel. can’t wait to be your mom 🙂